Of Etsy rings, old books and a thousand thanks in the making.

13. Newly minted in the morning autumn colours.

14. Feeling the sun's warmth on a November day.
15. Walks and talks with a good friend and pizza.

16. Beautiful etsy ring in the post.

17. Even more beautiful old book from a dear friend's online antique bookstore.

18. Excitement about the Old Testament after a theology class.

19. How theology leaves to hunger for more and praise.

20. Rushing rushing river and elusive far away (surprised by) joy.

21. Hope and comfort for the grieving.

22. News from a far off land like a drink of cold water.

23. Red pink petals of a rose.

24. "Brown paper packages tied up with string....these are a few of my favourite things" and thanksgiving things too.

25. Shabbat Shalom.

One Thousand Gifts: Beginning the Count.

1. Audio book lifting the heart, drying the tears.
2. Starting to plot Christmas presents.
3. A new haircut.
4. Dank and damp night, but clouds blown across the shining moon.
5. Grocery shopping and planning a week of meals.
6. Antibiotics that kill the earache.
7. The plumber fixing the toilet flush for nothing.
8. Finding happiness and hope in the midst of disappointment.
9. Jaffa cakes and tea drunk at the desk at work.
10. Finding that I can write, that I can find the words.
11. Finding joy in meeting a friend's need and so moving away from self-pity.
12. A hot bath.

So I start to thank and count my thanks. For God is good, and I remember that, when I thank him for the gifts.

The tale of two lost rings and grace.

One ring has a pale blue stone with twisted cross-over type setting. It is pale gold (nine carat). The other ring is silver with etchings around the rim. One is from a Fair Trade shop and the other from a Jewellers.


I wore the aqua ring to work about a month ago, and took it off briefly and put it in my pocket. It must of fallen out. It was one of those days where I had tramped through the hospital (next to the medical school) to buy bits and pieces from the hospital shop. So without speaking to anyone in the department, I frantically re-traced my steps and in the end spoke to hospital security and reported it missing. By this point I had given up on finding it. Rather down-hearted I returned to the Medical School, and thought on the spur of the moment to check with one of the secretaries that no-one had found it. I should of done this at the beginning of my quest to find my ring because it turned out that someone had found it, handed it in and an email had been sent around reporting that a ring had been found. So I got my ring back. It was lost but then later found.

You would think I would of learnt my lesson, but a few weeks later, I wore the silver ring except this time to the GP practice where I work. I had a busy day and was one of the last to leave at 7:30 pm. Before leaving I was running around tidying up and packing up my doctor's bag. In the car driving home, I suddenly realised that my ring was no longer on the my finger. Not as expensive as the other one but with more sentimental value I felt the disappointment. I emailed the practice the next day who looked in the places where I thought it might of fallen off and put up notices. But no-one had found it. The following week, I was duty doctor and visiting a patient at home and pulling equipment out of my doctor's bag. Buried under everything right at the bottom of the bag, I spotted a silver ring. I had found it! What a feeling of sudden relief and happiness.

So I have lost two rings in the space of about 4 weeks and found both of them. I was pondering how "lost" I can become, because of sin, weariness and distractions and how persistent God is at finding me and setting me back on the right track. Or when I see my "lostness" and run home in tears how wide are the open arms and how willing to draw me back. And how are innumerable are the fresh new starts that are to be had.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!
That saved a wretch like me
I was lost, but now am found
Was blind but now I see"
John Newton

"Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

“Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

" So he got up and went to his Father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him....
'My son', the father said, 'you are always with me and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead but now is alive, he was lost but now is found.'"
Luke 15: 3-10, 20, 31

Writing and studying routines: CS Lewis

"I would choose always to breakfast at exactly eight and to be at my desk by nine, there to read or write till one. If a cup of good tea or coffee could be brought me about eleven, so much the better.

As step or two out of doors for a pint of beer would not do quite so well; for a man does not want to drink alone and if you meet a friend in the taproom the break is likely to be extended beyond its ten minutes.

At one precisely lunch should be on the table; and by two at the latest I would be on the road. Not, except at rare intervals, with a friend. Walking and talking are two very great pleasures, but it is a mistake to combine them. Our own noise blots out the sounds and silences of the outdoor world; and talking leads almost inevitably to smoking, and then farewell to nature as far as one of our senses is concerned. The only friend to walk with is one who so exactly shares your taste for each mood of the countryside that a glance, a halt, or at most a nudge, is enough to assure us that the pleasure is shared.

The return from the walk, and the arrival of tea, should be exactly coincident, and not later than a quarter past four. Tea should be taken in solitude, …for eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. Of course not all books are suitable for mealtime reading. It would be a kind of blasphemy to read poetry at table. What one wants is a gossipy, formless book which can be opened anywhere…

At five a man should be at work again, and at it till seven. Then, at the evening meal and after, comes the time for talk, or, failing that, for lighter reading; and unless you are making a night of it with your cronies there is no reason why you should ever be in bed later than eleven."

Surprised by Joy, CS Lewis.

I first read Surprised by Joy when I was a teenager and this was one of my favourite passages. The comfort of routine and the pleasure of reading, writing, walking in the countryside and tea drinking. But he also later makes the point that there is a selfishness to such a routine that excludes others. However, there is a security in regularly doing something in a disciplined way but our lives need to be shaped by other priorities at the same time. Priorities that involve making time for people.

A Passion for Friendship..... and Spinsterishness.

Written for YLCF "A Peek into your Passion with a Purpose" Carnival. (http://www.ylcf.org/)


I do think "passion" and "passionate" are strange words. They are words I never use in real life. Perhaps it is English reserve and under-statedness- a wish to not exaggerate an interest or a reflection of a more sanguine personality. So I won't be using the word over much. I am "passionate" about different things; good books, old books, chalet school books, Radio 4, old fashioned General Practice (read The Citadel by A.J. Cronin), good films, costume dramas, primary care research, teaching. I know that I ought to be more "passionate" (oh- one more time) about following Jesus, studying my Bible and serving him. But these good things and interests, that I have mentioned are not separate from following Him, but all woven in and precious gifts from a loving Father, because all of our lives, the mundane and the fascinating is "in Christ" if we are "in Him".

However- to get to the point - what is my "passion"? There is a back story....

Five years ago I moved into my current accommodation which is a two bedroom flat in a block of flats. Upstairs from me, lived an Algerian lady married to a Scottish man with there two girls. They are Muslims. Gradually over the next two years I became friends with Fatiha, babysat Leena and Noor, started the Matilda club. In the month of Ramadan, three years ago now, she introduced me to her friends; Khadija, another Khadija, Reem, Cheharazed, Faiza, Aida, Wouroud. I read books, thinking about my friendship with these ladies (who are mostly from North Africa) and how I might be a better friend. And I share my life. We talk, and laugh, drink mint tea, and I have tryed sporadically to learn Arabic.

The other aspect of this, that I have pondered, is there is one particular thing in my situation that allows and affords time for friendships. I am single. Something that can seem invigorating, full of opportunities to be devoted to God and full of interests and time to pursue them. I appreciate the "spinsterishness" of Jane Austen and Miss Potter. I admire single missionaries ladies with all my heart.

The other side of this is, of course, that I also long to get married and have a family of my own. And sometimes (especially this past weekend when over-tired and recovering from illness) this can weigh so heavy that it can blot out the good things and blessings of singleness.

So this thought has begun to crystallise in my mind these past months that time is short and precious. I need to enjoy God and the life he has given me. Right now. I pray for a godly husband almost daily but I must also must remember to pray, that I will not waste any of the blessings God has given me.

I read a new Christian book on the topic of singleness this past summer. Carolyn Leutwiler (aspiring Opera singer and administrative coordinator for Children's Ministries at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City) has written a book published in 2008 called Singleness Redefined: Living Life to the Fullest. This is an excellent book, but one quotation within it struck me particularly.

"Sometimes life is very hard to understand and I don't believe we are meant to understand all of it or there would be no call for faith....[But] seize every moment you have and use every gift you have to love God and love your family, neighbours and friends while you can. There is no guarantee of tomorrow. Yet it is so easy to let the little,urgent yet petty details of our lives take over. We are lulled into a false sense of security that everyone and everything will be there tomorrow...Once I heard it said that life is what happens while we are making other plans. Please don't let the really important people, priorities and relationships wait in your life. Enjoy every beautiful moment that God blesses you with and praise him for it."
(letter from Phyllis Golden) page 125 Singleness Redefined:Living Life to the Fullest by Carolyn Leutwiler (2008).

Much treasure is found in "enjoying God and worshipping him forever" whether in spinsterish circumstances or not. God is full of surprising blessings and blessed surprises. May we thank him for them all.

Do the next thing and the best next thing too.

From an old English parsonage down by the sea,
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the doors, the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration, “Do the next thing.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
Time, opportunity, guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
Trust that with Jesus; do the next thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
Do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all resultings; do the next thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering be thy demeanor,
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance, be thy psalm.
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing;
Then, as He beckons thee, do the next thing.

author unknown, quoted by Elisabeth Elliot

Thank you Gretchen for this (found at http://www.littlepinkhouse.net/) but as well I was pondering the most important "next things". And that in fact "few things are needed" and these can be found at rest, (cup of tea, quiet spot) at Jesus' feet (bible, notebook and pen) listening to what he has to say.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke ch 10 vs 38-42

Autumn leaves, new beginnings and improved thoughts.

The air has a snap now. No more balmy days. The rain and wind was tearing around on Friday shaking the windows and battering on the panes. I have taken out my brown duffel, too heavy for summer and too light for winter but just right for now, for these 2 months (or just one) of not-so-warm, not-so-cold weather. I am not a fan of snowy weather, the darkness and endless cold presses down and I sit inside almost afraid of the weather outside.

Autumn has a different flavour though - a new beginning unlike the lightening of spring but more like the start of new school year. New notebooks. New ways of thinking and for me a new job. But more of that another time. I have started reading a Bible in a Year, and started in September because starting in January nine months late is too depressing for words. So I started where I am suppose to be and have been reading Isaiah. From about ch 40.

I like Isaiah very much because it tells me that :-

God is Big.
God is Powerful.
That He Saves to the Uttermost.
That He has Plans. And He carries them through.
That we are small.
But He is Big and Awesome and Righteous.
That we are sinful.
But that He Loves and Forgives and Saves.

And when I am mired in disappointment or weariness or just plain old sin and petty-mindedness, it wakes me up, opens my eyes, renews my mind, and gives me hope. So I am enjoying these autumn days, with the need to stay warm again, and wear my brown duffel, drink hot chocolate, re-watch Little Dorrit, savour the new Jane Eyre and think of God as He actually Is.